SO FAR WE HAVE SEEN VRISKA-CESTOR AND FEF-CESTOR
OR SO WE THINK
REMEMBER TO SUBMIT ALL YOUR HOMESTUCK CONSPIRACY THEORIES TO THIS BLOG!
Homestuck theories/musings (SPOILERS AHEAD)
I’m kind of scared of UranianUmbra, and the more I think about it the more I think my fears might not be totally unfounded.
This is based more on Hussie’s writing style then anything UU’s actually DONE, so I’ll be perfectly pleased to find this is all complete hogwash, but there is a pattern to the Troll’s personalities. All of them to some degree or another are the opposite of what they seem upon first contact. Karkat’s one of the best examples of this, being the most foul mouthed, angry, self loathing, and yet trumped up little brat of the 12 Troll children. However, as we get to know him, we realize he is actually sensitive, moral, self-sacrificing, and the glue that holds the group together. The silliest, laid back of the trolls turns out to be the most cruel and violent under the right circumstances. If this 13th troll follows the same pattern, then the fact that she seems helpful, sweet, polite, patient, and cheerful makes me start to worry. Characters even POINT OUT how helpful and nice she is, and it’d even mentioned that she’s a Prospit dreamer. I think this last is meant to further the (possibly) innacurate idea that she’s a good guy (don’t forget, Vriska was a Prospit dreamer).
Second thing that makes me worry: An umbra is the darkest part of a shadow (usually used to refer to shadows on celestial bodies). Uranium is a radioactive material (it’s radioactive properties were discovered by Antoine Becquerel, hmmmm) which has been characterized as green in the comic (a color heavily connected to our villains).
Third and most ‘out there’ worry: The purpose of the whole Skaia quest is to create a new world and populate it. This seems to mean that all the groups of heroes, regardless of particular number or method of breeding, are created in groups of even numbers with equal numbers of males/females. All the hints point to the idea that UU is alone. There’s been no mention of other ‘cheerers’ in the new session, and having only a 13th troll would make things balance out numerically (4:13) and atrologically (the 13th sign of the zodiac). So, if we can assume that she is the only troll/cheerer in the session, and that no Skaia session would work with only one hero, then what happened to the others in her group?
more theories that make sense!
So I’m picturing the Beta kids sitting in front of a computer and checking the Alpha kids’ lives a la Karkat in the beginning of Act 5
And instead of developing embarrassing five-minute hatecrushes they’re all kind of fucking horrified
Like “oh my fucking god what have our Alpha selves done”
And then a distraught John cries into blackness
“BATTERWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!”
But in paradox space no one can hear you scream
THIS IS A THEORY
Gimme All Of Your Homestuck Theories!!
SUBMIT THEM OR PUT THEM IN THE ASK BOX!
We’re accepting up until the very end!
Pop Quiz: Lalonde thinks Jane is naive because…
A. Strider is not a heterosexual.
B. Lalonde does, in fact, like someone besides Jake in their group of friends and it’s definitely not Strider.
C. Lalonde is aware that they are siblings because she ran the DNA tests herself, in her own basement.
Any of these options would be fantastic, imo.
ALL OF THEE ABUVE?
Homestucks end:
As you finish reading the last page, a mail truck pulls up out of nowhere.
It leaves two packages.
Client Disc
Server Disc
And the game begins.
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,” vexarian screams into his phone, “THIS GOES TO THE TOP. THIS GOES RIGHT TO THE TOP”
cut to: oval office. presidential chair swivels to reveal ANDREW HUSSIE, flanked by snappily-dressed GEROMY and SHELBY who are carrying future guns
OMG
i dont even know what is going on i dont want to know im laughing at this post
sajdhaksjd
Hussie is:
OBAMA-MAMA
in:
HOMESTUCK: THE MUSICAL
WHAT IF DAVE IS BRO’S UNBORN SON AND THE NEW BRO IS UU AND BATTERWITCH IS REALLY BEC?
remember this is a crazy conspiracy blog.
anything goes as long as it doesn’t directly contradict canon.
ASK AND SUBMIT GUYS
